Heading back to the old journal, too much work to keep two going!    Find me at : lilwolfe   Thanks all!

I had planned out my meal plan last night and inputted it into www.myfooddiary.com but then as work continued to blow up I decided that sandwich and apple slices at my desk wasn't going to cut it.  I needed out of the office and I needed it bad.

Grabbed a coworker and went to China Buffet.   Very pleased to announce that I stayed completely in control and dodged all the horrid choices and stayed with the healthier options.  I feel very good about keeping things reasonable there and I did not eat until I was stuffed and kept the portions wise.

I tracked it into the food diary as best as I could - it's hard to guess at things from a place like that, so I borrowed entrees from other Chinese places and will take it from there.   I plan on going to the gym tonight, and I am not going to worry about being short on calories today, for two reasons.   1) I was over yesterday  2) I probably underestimated my lunch calories.

Food Plan for the Day:
Fiber One Honey and Oats Cereal
Skim Milk
Light Orange Juice
Rice
Chicken and Broccoli
String Beans
Hot and Sour Soup
Garlic Shrimp
Almond Cookie
Light String Cheese
Chicken Breast
Baked Potato
Salad
Fudge Bar (If needed)

Exercise Planned:   Heading to the gym for lighter activity as I don't want to upset my stomach and it just started feeling better last night.   Either treadmill or ellipticals for 45m of light-moderate.   15m of stretching.

Love Note for the Day:

Hello Biceps - good to see you peeking up at this hour of the day.   You've been amazing.   Thank you for all your hard work and for everything you do for me.    You're no wuss, and you're no pansy ass muscle.  You're the real deal, and in grade school, you helped me put the boys to shame with doing more pull ups than they could.   After high school, you got me to impress the guys at work when they tried to pry me off the fence at Great America so I could get nailed by the waterfall splash, only to find out that I had too much strength in my arms to let go.  You and me are going to go a long way together, and work to show all the ladies out there that big weights make hot muscles.   WOO!

Love, Me



Thoughts.   - I am getting impatient already.  Must keep focused on how my mood has improved, and how eager and motivated I feel.  The weight will come off in time, and the body will reshape to look toned and healthy as I continue to change my lifestyle.  These things are thrilling by products of my quest to BE HEALTHY.     Having a hard mental day though, I keep looking at the old picture and want to see that today - now. 

So, the weekend summary basically pointed out to me that I really didn't follow any overly controlled plan for those two days.   No harm though, as I am back on track today.    Still feeling sickish, so it's really affecting my water intake as even that bothers me.    I was able to stomach breakfast and a yogurt more or less, and opted for a sub sandwich instead of one of my lean cuisines because I think it will be a bit less rich, cheesy, etc.

Meal Plan for the Day:
Kashi Autumn Harvest
Skim Milk
Yogurt
6" Roast Beef, no cheese
Chicken Breast with Teriyaki Marinade
Baked Potato
Fudge Bar
Cottage Cheese (If needed)

Exercise:  If I feel better by the time I get home, I am going to try out the new Dancing with the Stars game as it will be low impact and less upsetting to a growly tummy.   I don't think going to the gym today would be a good idea as I am really pretty bleh feeling and my good advice from dietingsupport said that sickies above the neck = give the workout a try but sickies below the neck = rest and take it easy.

Love Note for the Day:

Dear Butt,

Thank you for being there for me.  Especially on days like today and yesterday where I feel like doing nothing more than sitting around all day.  You're really quite comfortable and you do your job well.   There are a lot of exercises that tell me you're responsible for helping out on them, and while I don't always feel that, or thank you for it, I'm sure they must be right.  You give me shape on the back half of my body, and along with the hips that you partner up with so nice, provide the essential curves to the infamous hour glass.   So thanks booty.  We'll shake it a few times in your honor, soon as I feel better!

Love, Me

Yeaaah, I knew weekends would be tricksy.   I think I've done better than I normally do.  Sorta.  If I hadn't gotten sickish, I would have done far better, so I am not going to beat myself up too much.

Saturday Eats:
Low Cal PB&J with Milk
Chicken Tacos, Crunchy
Pinto Beans
1/2 Cajeta Ice Cream
Way too many chips/salsa/guacamole
3 slices pizza (Square pieces)
2 cheese sticks
2 fried mushrooms

Yeah it's not the best, but Saturday is my indulge day and while they aren't the healthiest choices, I did eat only until I was satisfied and tried to choose the better options.   (IE Tacos instead of cheese laden enchiladas, etc.)

Sunday Eats:
Woke up very sick.   Couldn't eat until noon.  
Lean Cuisine
Lt String Cheese
FF/SF Fudge Bar
2 Hot Dogs
Fries

The hot dogs and fries killed me, but considering I had no breakfast and no other snacks all day, I may not have been as bad off as I fear I was.   And, being sick, and with nothing in the house, my sis offered to bring me over some Portillos so that's why it ended up as hot dogs and fries. :(


Well, we learned from this though.   I do need to rein in the weekends a bit better.  If I am going to count Saturday as take it easy day, then Sunday has to be right back onto par for course.    I really think that had I felt better I would have done better.   But, being sick turns into craving comfort foods.

Summary Day 2

Consumed Calories 1382
Exercise burnt 286

Finished off the day with a Fiber 1 Bar because I was short still by a fair amount.  Still short even so, but I really am not hungry at all. :(
Next week, I am going to bump up my calories per meal to see if I can keep this from happening again.

Still I am thrilled with the success for today.  I stayed on track and even managed to eat out at a restaurant with absolutely predetermined choices that I was able to track and account for.

It's just two days into things, but I really feel good mentally and emotionally.    I would say physically too, but I just fifteen minutes ago developed a slightly upset stomach.  I think there is a bug going around though, and do not at all blame the healthful eating.

Tomorrow will be a challenge.   I am going to have pb&j for breakfast, then hit the gym for a longer workout.   Lunch - hmm maybe Subway.  Or maybe I should save Subway for dinner - or, maybe my friends will want to grab dinner when I head over.   Ok, this is going to take more thought.

PB&J and Milk = 350 calories.
Gym workout (if I feel better than I did tonight) will burn between 300-400
Could get a Subway sandwich for 350-400 and that leaves me 800-1000 for dinner.
Throw a snack in there so dinner is not SO calorie high maybe.  
That will have to be the plan.

Well, taking the motivation and success from yesterday into today has me pretty cheerful and optimistic.  I packed up my lunch into my little cooler, along with my snacks, and I feel very in control for what I will be eating today.   My hamstrings are a little sore and I can't figure out from what - either Wednesdays gym workout, or last night's kettlebell workout.



Meal Plan for the Day:

Oatmeal
String Cheese
Yogurt
Roast Beef Sandwich
1cup chicken tortilla soup
Apple Slices
Carrots w/ Black BeanDip
Fiber One Bar

Today is a Gym Day - estimated duration 60-75m.
Dinner as of yet unplanned.   Probably Red Lobster or Ruby Tuesdays, where I will get salads and fish.

Today's Love Note:

Dear Calves,

You've brought me a long way!  You're strong and durable and keep me moving.  We've had our ups and downs, and I still remember the time we playfully joked that my friend had guppies for calves, and I had largemouth bass.  It wasn't a dis, it was a compliment to your form and shape, and I still think that well of you.  Up on my toes, it's all about you when we DDR, and let's be honest, I don't go easy on you.  Still, day in and day out you support me, and I adore you for it.  We've turned some heads in the day and I'm still proud to call you mine.

Love, Me


Other random things to mention.  Man I feel so much better when I DON'T eat McDonalds in the morning.  It's like, nearly instantly, you'll feel better from eating clean.  I need to remember how this feels so that the next time I am tempted, I have this to lean on.  Is five hours of discomfort really worth ten minutes of taste?

Also, I am thinking, perhaps against better judgement, to post my current before pictures.   However, that'd be really embarassing, and I'm not sure I'd want the whole of the internet able to see them.  *laugh*  Maybe I'll wait a bit, and once I have a network for support, friends lock that post. :)

Tonight's workout should be pretty good - hopefully my sis goes with!

Day 1 Summary

Woo!  I nailed everything today and feel amazing.  

Stuck with the meal plan, and grabbed some Perdue chicken breast right portions, and these neat individually wrapped baked PotatOhs! that you just nuke in the sleeve and it turns them into the perfect consistency baked potato.  Bought a George Foreman grill and some Mrs Dash marinade and cooked myself up a 10m dinner of chicken and baked potato.    

In the future, I'll get a little more bold and experimental, but for now it's a quick, healthy meal and ends up being WAY cheaper than getting food out after the gym.   (Which was my previous habit since I didn't want to come home and tear the kitchen up at 8pm.)

Planning to have a WW muffin and glass of skim milk as my treat before bed and that will leave me with the final tally.


Calories consumed:   1342
Water goal met.
Calories burned through exercise:  331  
(DDR for 30m and 15m kettlebell routine)

Technically, the net calories are a little bit under where they should be, but I just can't imagine finding another 200 calories to shove in my throat before bedtime.    The muffin and milk will be about 300 as is so we'll just make sure tomorrow is a bit over 1200 net calories.

Now, I think I will do a facial peel, and then relax with some tunes for the rest of the night.  A little pampering as a pat on the back for sticking to it and nailing everything today!

So, I have a few things left here in the fridge at work that I didn't want to go to waste.   So, I grabbed two slices of Healthy Life bread to use with the Oscar Meyer Roast Beef I have.    That'll be my sandwich for lunch.    I had packed an instant oatmeal, but ended up having 1 Lean Pocket Bacon/Egg/Cheese thing for breakfast that in turn, made me instantly sick to the tummy.   So, I think I will just toss out the last two of those and chalk it up to 'bad plan'.

Meal Plan for the day:
Lean Pocket
Light Yogurt (maybe that will settle my tummy)
Roast Beef Sandwich
Celery w/ Black Bean Dip
Fiber One bar

Oh dinner, I didn't plan ahead for dinner, so I will have to stop at the store on the way home.  My plan is to keep some individually wrapped chicken breasts in the freezer, so I can take and thaw as needed.   Whip it up with some side veggies or a baked potato.

Planning to do at home workout tonight.  I think I will do some DDR and then a circuit with the kettlebell or shovelglove.  That should net me about 300 calories and get me right where I need to be.

Love Note for the day:

Dear forearms,

You are sooo damn sexy.  You've just the right amount of muscle and tone and soft femininity.   You help me do all kinds of amazing things; like typing and writing and using utensils and tools, you keep my hands attached to the rest of me, which I am eternally thankful for, or else I would not only lack any coordination, but look really odd too.  You've helped catch me when I fall, you've helped me reach for things, and climb and pull.   You've been awesome, and I am thankful to have you.

Love, Me

So, you might say, 'If that's you in the picture, why on earth are you after weight loss and fitness?'
The answer is, that is my goal.  The weight I had attained 2 years ago before I let things fall apart.  
I chose it as my default icon picture so that I would have a constant reminder of what I am working toward.
I chose it so I can remind myself that, I CAN do this.  

This journal thing is not a new endeavor for me.  In fact, I've got a paid account here that is probably going into it's third or fourth year.  I wanted a separate journal for this though because I felt I could better organize it, as well as follow communities better if it weren't lumped together into one LJ.

So, long story short?    I was a fit, active girl through childhood and into high school, I maintained an active lifestyle/job right after high school for about five years, then graduated to what I call a 'big girl' job.    Five years later, I'd gained 65lbs and had become a wee bit miserable.    I toyed with a few diets, starting on South Beach with a 25lb success in the first 2 months.   Then, frustrated with how hard it was to 'eat on the fly' with that program, I switched to Weight Watchers.   A year later and a few odd months, and I had reached my goal weight and felt sassy as can be and reveled in my new found confidence.   (Self esteem and body image were never my strong point.)

Things were good for a while, and then for a reason I still haven't figured out yet, I seemed to completely fall off the mountain during the 2007 year.  I put on 37 pounds and found myself always tired, lethargic, moody and rather blue.   I had the doc check me out and came back with good numbers all around.  He of course was willing to put me on anti-depressants, but I opted against it.   I mean, looking back, I had never been depressed during those years I was active and outgoing, so I figured, let's get back on track.

Three weeks ago I canceled my Bally's membership and joined XSport Fitness.  I am so glad I did.  The place is amazing and the staff is truly person-oriented.   They include a free assessment, and then follow up assessments are also free of charge.   They discussed healthy goals, nutrition and the importance of commitment.    My questions are answered no matter how often I ask them, and the personal training staff not only remembers me from the few talks we've had on things, but will stop me and say hi and ask how I am doing.  (Keep in mind, I have never purchased any sessions, this is all just their normal outstanding customer service.)

So I've been on top of the exercising thing.  Hitting the gym 3-4x a week and doing shorter cardio workouts at home on the off days.    The real hurdle for me ....    eating.

That's the primary focus of this journal.  Someplace I can outline and keep track of what I should be eating versus what I am.   It's also so I can find strong, active, supportive communities that will share in the ups and downs of the process to change your lifestyle.  (Note I didn't say diet there.  See, I'm learning.)    Thirdly, as odd as it may sound, I am using this journal to write 'love notes' or 'thank you letters' to my CURRENT body.   I am worth more than what I look like.   I am judged for my actions, not the size of my thighs.  My body may not be perfect, but it is perfect for me because it is giving me life, and the ability to live, love and move everyday in that life.

With that all said, I think we're ready to begin.   I suppose the first scary obstacle is confession of stats.  So here goes:

Day 1 will begin March 6th 2008

Current Weight 165
Height 5'2" 
End Goal 130  
Starting Goal 155 by May 1st.
Reward for first goal - 30m massage at gym's spa.

Non Weight Related Goal - Give up McDonalds for 1 month.  (Steep yes, but I think this is essential to breaking a very bad, quick to sabotage, habit.)